The Portals
by That Kid With The 'R' Sweater
Summary: Mysterious blue portals are sucking up beloved pop-culture characters, such as the Scout and Ferb...Rated T because of TF2.


**Only two things are known for sure about the mysterious Pyro: he sets things on fire and he doesn't speak. In fact, only the part about setting things on fire is undisputed. Some believe his occasional rasping wheeze may be an attempt to communicate through a mouth obstructed by a filter and attached to lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos-lined suit. Either way, he's a fearsome, inscrutable, on-fire Frankenstein of a man. If he even is a man. **

"Come on, Jack's, he's coming!" Shouted a worried Scout in Blu.**The youngest of eight boys from the south side of Boston, the Scout learned early how to solve problems with his fists. With seven older brothers on his side, fights tended to end before the runt of the litter could maneuver into punching distance, so the Scout trained himself to run. He ran everywhere, all the time, until he could beat his pack of mad dog siblings to the fray.**

"Go, I'll heal!" Replied the Medic in red. **What he lacks in compassion for the sick, respect for human dignity, and any sort of verifiable formal training in medicine, the Medic more than makes up for with a bottomless supply of giant needles and a trembling enthusiasm for plunging them into exposed flesh. Raised in Stuttgart, Germany during an era when the Hippocratic oath had been downgraded to an optional Hippocratic suggestion, the Medic considers healing a generally unintended side effect of satisfying his own morbid curiosity.**

What are they worried about, you may ask? The Pyro, the most dangerous of all of them… And he, she…IT was coming for them, no matter what the class. What's worse, and what do they not know? There is more.

"He's here." Said a blu Sniper calmly.** Half rugged outdoorsman, half alien observer, this taciturn strip of beef jerky has spent the better part of his life alone in the bush, slow baking under the Australian sun.**

"Save me, Sandvich, save me, Natascha!" A red Heavy shouted to his Minigun and his lunch. **Like a hibernating bear, the Heavy appears to be a gentle giant. Confusing his deliberate, sleepy demeanor with gentleness will get you ripped limb from limb. Though he speaks simply and moves with an economy of energy that's often confused with napping, the Heavy isn't dumb; he's not your big friend and he generally wishes that you would just shut up before he has to make you shut up.**

"Get, 'Im, boys." Said a blu Demoman. **A fierce temper, a fascination with all things explosive, and a terrible plan to kill the Loch Ness Monster cost the six year old Demoman his original set of adoptive parents. Later, at the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans near Ullapool in the Scottish Highlands, the boy's bomb-making skills improved dramatically. His disposition and total number of intact eyeballs, however, did not.**

"Sentry's 'r ready." Said a red Engineer. **This amiable, soft-spoken good ol' boy from tiny Bee Cave, Texas loves barbecues, guns, and higher education. Natural curiosity, ten years as a roughneck in the west Texas oilfields, and eleven hard science PhDs have trained him to design, build and repair a variety of deadly contraptions.**

"Bang, BOOM!" Shouted the Soldier, as he blew up Pyro's with his rocket launcher. **Though he wanted desperately to fight in World War 2, the Soldier was rejected by every branch of the military. Undaunted, he bought his own ticket to Europe. After arriving and finally locating Poland, the Soldier taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself. His rampage ended immediately upon hearing about the end of the war in 1949.**

"You losers, I'm using a bat and killing more Pyro's then youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-!" Scout shouted, right before being sucked through a blue portal.

"This is so gonna rock!" Shouted a boy with a triangle head, and red hair, Phineas. "Agreed, my brother." Replied another boy with a triangle head, and glasses, straight, flat brown hair, a green sweater with an "R" on it, blue jeans, black shoes with orange laces, and white socks, Ryan.

"So, what is it we are doing again?" Asked an Indian boy in overalls, Baljeet. "You STILL don't remember, nerd, we explained it to you, like, 3 times." Replied his frenemy bully, Buford. "Shhh!" Shushed Mabel Pines. "Mabel, they haven't introduced it yet, so, don't shh them." Replied Mabel's brother Dipper Pines.

"Hey guys, What'chya doin?" Asked the Garcia-Shapiro sisters, Isabella and Ellie.

"Making an awesome machine!" Phineas and Ryan replied. "Ferb, hit the lights…Ferb?" Asked Phineas, but Ferb wasn't there, he had been sucked into a blue portal, so had Soos.


End file.
